December 4, 2010
Well, somehow I missed the month of November. There were a few contributing factors that led to this delayed blog entry, including but not limited to; Natalie’s 1st Birthday, my new computer at work, and the never ending cold that was passed around the house for the greater part of the month. But now, I can say that we are all healthy, and I am able to start writing during my morning break at work. This new computer is pretty nice compared to the turtle slow laptop that I was using before.
Anyway, this blog is a logged complaint that has been building for the last month. It all started with Natalie’s birthday. A simple affair with close friends and family, originally intended to be inexpensive and easy. Jakki and I decided to hold a Dutch lunch at a local restaurant because our house is fairly small and not able to hold a party of more than 6 people (not to mention kids). So we did our research and decided on one of our favorite Italian restaurants. There was no room fee, and they were very accommodating, so the location worked out well. Jakki brought special cupcakes, and we were planning on a couple of balloons. Then it happened. In one fell swoop, everything, and I mean everything turned into a Dora fest.
If you don’t know who Dora is, then you are probably not in close proximity to a toddler or child under the age of 5. Dora the Explorer is a loud and obnoxious Hispanic girl that has a big heart. She travels with her monkey to help people in need and while she does it she collects stars and avoids obstacles. It is a great show for little ones as the music is catchy, they focus on bilingual education, and there is a lot of repetition. Don’t get me wrong, I think Dora is way better than some of the previous obnoxious television characters for kids. So based on that premise, Dora is ok.
However, Natalie is now 12 months old. Natalie likes the Dora songs, and recognizes her and smiles. Natalie recognizes many things and smiles though, she is 12 months old, new stuff to look at is fun. But her grandma thinks that Natalie LOVES Dora. This has led to a flood of Dora in our house. Starting with her birthday, at least six Dora balloons, Dora napkins, Dora plates, Dora party favors, Dora table covers. Grandma spent at least $100 on Dora stuff. Mind you, the restaurant had napkins, plates, and table covers, so many of these things are now in the house.
I didn’t say anything at the time because: a. I was more focused on Natalie, and I didn’t care if grandma was spending the money on our girl, and b. parties are supposed to have themes, so why not? It seemed reasonable. However, the Dora explosion has not stopped. Grandma has kindly bought a Dora pillow, Dora dolls, Dora books (one that plays music, which is really cool), and she comes over daily (yes DAILY) with something Dora for Natalie. This is two weeks running. There are Dora pajamas with her body painted all over the front, there are sweaters, and shirts, and Dora plates and cups, and washcloths, and Christmas ornaments. I think you may now get the picture. Our living room has more Dora faces than anything in comparison.
Now on to the issue; last night grandma came over once again with more Dora clothes. As I was catching up with my Fantasy Hockey league, I look up as she holds up a sweater and asks, “Isn’t this cute?” It wasn’t. It was a god awful ugly pink sweater with “Dora the Explorer” written all over it (literally all over it) in a color of diagonal rainbow Arial text with a picture of Dora on the front. I think it is horrible. But I instinctively (and without really thinking about it) said “not really”. I didn’t say anything worse, I just continued to play on my laptop.
So guess who is now the ungrateful husband/father. I mean really, REALLY? Jakki’s parents come over every day to see Natalie. EVERY DAY. Imagine seeing your parents EVERY DAY. Now add on the fact that they are your landlord, and you have cheap rent. Sweat equity and a few hundred dollars every month makes life easier than most, and as a result Jakki can stay at home with Natalie which is a blessing. It is a blessing. But this additional cost is taxing. The daily visit is typically manageable, however Jakki and I have to schedule every evening around it. Now grandma is dropping a hundred a week on Dora merchandise for Natalie and expecting a round of applause for it every night. Or, at least, our general approval (smiles and happiness). And if I happen to think it is CRAZY, I am ungrateful.
Let’s get to that hundred a week (that is a fair guess). I wouldn’t mind so much except for the fact that grandma likes to give Jakki stress about how broke they are and that they can’t afford to do things like buy hay for the horses, or fix the fencing. I can think of a lot of things to do with that money around the property. Even an additional hundred a month for Natalie’s college fund (or Jakki’s for that matter) would be awesome. But Dora makes Natalie happy!
Let’s get back to Dora. Jakki said to me, (paraphrasing) “This is just the beginning. Natalie will attach to many things as she grows up and we will have to deal with it.” If Natalie was asking for Dora, that would be fine, but she isn’t. This flood is based on an assumption that Natalie is gaga over Dora. It is true, when the Dora song comes on the TV, she smiles and watches, but as soon as the show continues she starts playing with other things. It could be a Ferrari, and if she liked seeing the red flash across the screen with the tune of a turbo injected eight cylinder engine revving up as it goes by would she then get a whole bunch of Ferrari stuff? Dora is age appropriate and relatively available, so grandma is clinging onto it.
I want to take advantage of the opportunity to present diversity to Natalie before she gets hooked on things. Give her various things, toys, music, animals, mix it up. Then let’s see what she wants and plays with regularly. We are feeding into the corporate monster and brainwash branding of our child before she even has a chance. Let her decide what she wants and let us know herself. Then we will have the opportunity to say “no” when it gets to be too much.
I didn’t get everything I wanted as a child. I didn’t have a dozen Transformers and Star Wars action figures. I had enough, but I was never afforded the floodgate of goods as a child. And I understand why. I don’t want Natalie to get everything she ever wants handed down to her. I want her to want to earn it later down the line.
I am not ungrateful. And I understand that Jakki's parents love Natalie and want to do everything for her. I just think it is going overboard way too soon. And if I say anything, people get hurt and I am the bad guy.
So, lots of issues this week. Thankfully nothing about Natalie and her health this fall. She is doing great. She was a little sick, but she got through it fine, and she is a happy little bug, and overall I think Jakki and I are too.
~ Nathan
p.s. On the way in to work today, I was behind a car with a license plate frame that read, “Did mommy say no? Call 1-(800)-Grandma”. Too true.
p.p.s. It's Jakki's birthday this weekend, so Happy Birthday love! I know you try hard to be the best mother and wife, and I appreciate everything you do for us.
She 12 months old. :) Let it go. A) You have cheap rent. In this economy, just smile and say thank you. B) She's 12 months old. C) Let it GO! If it seriously bothers you that much, gently talk to her mom and just say that you appreciate the gestures, but maybe if she could slow down on the flood a little and spread out the goods, then it would be a better situation. If she resists, then let it go and say thank you. Put some of the toys and goodies away and rotate them around. She is lucky to have grandparents that LOVE her and spend that kind of money on her. I would gladly have an overbearing grandparent than an absent one.
ReplyDeleteGrandbabies always bring out the best AND worst in our parents. My mother once told me NOT come home if I wasn't bringing the kids. So, I didn't go home. :)