September 10, 2010
Well, I can say that Natalie has been feeling better. Although the fussiness and random bits of pain come and go, she has at least slept through the night for most of this week. She has been easier to get down, unfortunately I am learning that you can overdo the deceleration process before putting her down into the crib.
The current procedure is as follows: around 9:30pm Natalie starts rubbing her eyes and yawning (very cute by the way); Jakki takes her into her nursery and does the bedtime diaper and pajama change while I prep the rocker for reading time; I sit and read through four or five of her books (they are quick reads, so I keep rolling through them); I shut out the lights and rock her, or walk her to sleep, which can take up to 30 minutes. This week she has started rolling around and playing in my lap after about the third book. I am either a boring reader, unable to keep her attention, or so exciting that she wakes up and becomes active. She has taken to turning pages for me, with a little page control from daddy, and sometimes we wrestle with the book so that she doesn’t turn the page before I read the four lines of rhyme. I think she likes the action of turning pages more than listening to me. Either way, she is a bit more awake and active when I am done reading than when Jakki first picks her up to change her. It’s a cruel process, because sometimes I just want to put her down, say goodnight, and shut the door. She fussed enough last night in my arms that I did just that, I read to her, rocked a little and quickly put her down and said goodnight. She was just too awake, or fussy, to be comfortable in any position in my lap or arms. So I just put her down and turned on her glowing seahorse. She looked at me like I was a bastard for putting her down into this cage, so I kissed her on the forehead, told her that she would be ok, said goodnight, and walked out the door. This was a risky gamble, considering the separation anxiety mentioned last week. It actually worked out well, she only cried out once or twice and then she conked out.
So maybe I need to change it up, read one less book, and put her down before she falls asleep? For some reason I feel a thread of guilt though. I don’t get to see her enough during the day, and I really don’t want her to be upset that I am walking out the door. When she cries out, all of the satisfaction in our time together vanishes and I feel like I didn’t do enough for her. My comfort in the process is dependent on her comfort, and the only way I seem to feel satisfied is when she is asleep in my arms, or quickly asleep after I put her down. That little dirty look doesn’t help either. It’s weird. I have a guilty conscience, I guess. But mommy and daddy need their sleep too. So I will stick with the gamble, and try to put her down sooner.
So that's how we put her to bed, hopefully I will keep learning and adapting so hat we can all sleep better. I am happy, and we are, for now, healthy.
~ Nathan
Don't feel guilty!! She needs her sleep as well. We usually read the kiddos one story and that was it. You play with her when you see her and that's enough. Seriously. Now that ours are older, we still read one or two stories max. That's it. It's actually important for her to go to bed while she is awake. She needs to learn to self-soothe and to put herself to sleep. We did that with our kiddos--put them to bed when they were still awake. Often, they would babble and then conk out. Sometimes they'd cry and we check in on them, but we did NOT pick them up. We said goodnight and left again. Otherwise it can set a bad precedent and when she gets older, it can lead to the bedtime battle of stalling. I can honestly say that we have NEVER had the bedtime battles. When it's time for bed, it's time for bed. That's it. Simple as that.
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